I'm really emotional right now. I can feel every emotion welling in my body all at once. Today is the big day. My rebapism. I type these words through eyes filled with tears. I don't know what im feeling. Excitment, I'm anxious, and honestly a little nervous. But not the kind of nervous you might think. Like a bride the night before her wedding. She lays hoping nothing goes wrong, and then that one word runs through her head like its running through mine...Forever. To my human mind I cannot even comprehend the word. So I reduce it to simpler terminology. Forever meaning until I die. Baptism and a wedding are both sacred ceremonies connecting two people to one another. A relationship is formed and progresses until they are both ready to be bonded to one another for the rest of their lives. God has been waiting for me at the alter for 23 years. Such patience!Tomorrow I say "I do" to God. I'll Promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, through good times and bad. When I have friends and when I don't, when the storms of life rage, when I have a man and when im single (hallelujah!! :)), and when this world is ready to engulf me and devour my soul. I promise I will love, cherish, honor, fear, devote my life, and choose God before friends, family, and this world. It's a scary thought sometimes. We mess up all the time and our parents get angry, or yell. But most of all they feel dissapointed. I pray with all I have that I don't disappoint God. A lot of people use the fact that we are naturally sinful creatures to justify their sins. Like they can't do better, because they will always be destined to sin. But I know today, when I am immersed in that water, and my old sinful habits die, I will raise out of that water a clean and new person. Leaving behind the past that the Devil deceived me with, and made me believe it was the best I could do. The credit I merited him is no longer relevant. He's going to be so busy, but im not scared of him anymore. He can throw his hardest blow, but my God is just a prayer away. I'm truly happy now. Finally!
Heavenly Father thank you for this chance you've given me. I should be dead and gone, without a second thought from you Lord. But you saw it better to love me than leave me and I thank you for that. I take my vows with a seriousness that not many will understand. I know following you is not the popular thing to do in this world but this world is not my home. Just passing through until you come back for your children. Please protect me from Satan's snare, and keep his imps from touching me. Thank you again for what you've done for me, and what you will do in the future. Thank you for giving me my life back. Amen
Its never too late...
3 comments:
i'm writing this with tears flowing down my face........ it is never to late...what amazing grace God gives us... and wonderful it is to know that you feel his presence too Diedre, i pray that God may continue to bless your journey as you walk with him.
I am always teary while writing this to you. I did not think of these things you bring up. So many times I am in the same boat might be a little different "design" but then I keep putting God off like just now I did something I wasn't suppose to do but because of temptations I did them. I keep praying about it but I don't put the faith in God to bring me through. Reading your poems is like my daily devotion with Christ. Also I wanted to congratulate you on this new step your taking with Christ or retaking. I love you.
Congratulations again girl!-Cassy
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