Tuesday, December 11, 2007

How Will I Be Remembered?

My sister is in med school and she is doing her geriatric rotations. Her days mostly consist of home visits where she gives the elderly people they regular check ups, and tries to make them feel as comfortable as possible. For one of her classes she has to do an 10 minute presentation on death. It can be anything she wants so she thought to get her families perspective on death. She called us and asked us all the same questions. How do you feel about death?

I don't know if this is normal or not but I think about death all the time. I've experienced death and funerals at a very young age when my grandmother died. Since that day it seemed like I was always at someone's funeral. In high school death has taken away a handful of my friends. Car accidents, suicide, and even random heart failure. Since those days death has been on my mind quite often.

Any person who has been close to me has had their own mock funeral in my mind. I've seen them in the casket, and mourning friends and family dressed in black. The thoughts don't last very long, but the sadness lingers. I might even shed a few tears. Why do I do this? I don't really know. I think I have had so many friends and family die unexpectedly that I try to prepare myself before they suddenly die. So I won't be a wreck, because I've already seen it in my head.

What's interesting is how my family views death. My mom and dad just want to make sure their kids are taken care, and their money divided amongst us, and they don't want us to struggle because of their death. My oldest sister says before she dies she wants her money, and her career. They are more practical. But its weird that none of that even enters my mind. I don't care about my career of money. I am more concerned with how I will be remembered, and if I righted all of my wrongs. I want to know I loved with my whole heart, and that I sincerely forgave. I want to be known for my contagious laughter, and encouraging advice.
I figure death is a part of life and I shouldn't let it take such precedence in my thoughts, because its a crazy thing that can't be controlled or predicted. But while I'm here on this earth I will live my life to the fullest, and be known for being someone I can be proud of.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel you on this. Can't say I have pictured those close to me in caskets or anything, but I don't focus on how great I'll be or where my career is. I've often considered if I died today... would those I love know I love them, would they have someone there to comfort them and tell them that it's okay I'm just asleep, or have I finished the plans God has created for me to do? My goal in life is not to be famous or rich, but to touch the lives of those I meet every day whether stranger or acquaintance. My passion is people and as long as I have been able to leave the handprint of Jesus on each person life my purpose is complete!