The Guys...

You know sometimes i wish i was a guy. And im not saying that to get on my soapbox about the usual female argument of painful period cramps or child birth. Im talking about the different mentalities of men and women. This blog was inspired because I was priviledged enough to spend the evening with my brothers watching um...FIBA something basketball game. USA v.s. All the other teams of the world that will never beat us. And it was so much fun! Even though i didn't know all the names of all the players. and game percentages were uncharted territory for me it was still interesting. And i just sat there and observed the dynamic of the male relationship. Commonalities i noticed are loud talking, boisterous laughter, sporatic handshakes and high fives ( Not the fruity high fives) and just good old talking trash and debates. Admitting a fart is of minimal importance when any sport is on the TV. Caring about proper etiquette is thrown out the window.But still you would think that these guys had a degree in basketball-ogy, They know so much, about every person who sets foot on the court. And i love how they have the ability to play each other, and embarass one another without feelings getting hurt. And they never have to be concerned about further talking about them once they leave the room. As quickly as its said, its forgotten. Most females don't have that type of relationship. Of course I've had friends that i joke with and poke fun at, But there are some things i would never say because i know they would get offended. And Im not saying im the acception to the rule. I know i can be very sensitive....AND I HATE IT! I'm not trying to generalize about genders, but from what i've noticed is that in most cases its just so much easier for guys to eliminate drama and brush it off. They would not let any trivial matters get in the way of their fun. It's just not worth it. So when they are on their way to their designated homes,They know at the end of the game no matter if their teams won or lost, or how many times they call each other gay, they still got Love.

Oh to be Re-bourne...

Hey ya'll. Ok so I don't consider myself a movie critic by any means, But I've decided to speak on this. Early this week I saw the Bourne Ultimatum, and my boyfriend was incredible in that movie. I've always had a hidden passion for white boys, being that I basically grew up in an Abercrombie oasis. There's just something about a tight shirt wearing, ripped knee patch, ball capped white boy that is a little bit attractive. Now picture that same cute white boy, but now he's dirty and bloody and pissed off. Flying all over the world kicking butt. His piercing blue eyes burn deep while his lips tighten with ever blow delivered to his adversaries. Just GANGSTA for no good reason. Calm and Cool, but still a ticking time bomb. I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone, but my fiance was gangsta for real. From Madrid to NYC...Just angry!! And no this is not a characteristic I desire in my future mate, but there is something about an aggressive, take control kinda guy. The kinda of man whose blood pumps testosterone like nitro. I MAN'S MAN. And I can appreciate a movie that appeals to the male and female gender. And its not body appearance that does it, nor is he shirtless and flaunting perfect pectorals during the movie. Just his mannerism, the idiosyncracy of his movements, dependability in every situation. OOOOH BOYYY! If you haven't seen it...GO SEE IT! but please rent Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy if you haven't seen them. My husband will blow your socks off...(yes we're married!! SHEESH)

Remember the Sabbath day?

I know its been a minute since I posted anything, but I have been working a bit harder on my poems, so its taking me a bit longer. But at any rate... I was having a discussion with a very close friend of mine on the phone a couple of nights ago, and we got on the topic of religion and how keeping the Sabbath is very important. It's a commandment that is often overlooked. (For those of you who are not SDA, on Saturday is considered our Sabbath. It is a day of rest from work, and considered the Lords day that we keep holy by dedicating it to Him) SOOO my friend and I were getting into our discussing about those who make acceptions to the rule of the Sabbath. For example, those who are in the medical field who feel they are excused because they are saving lives, or doing a service to other people. But my question is... If your getting paid how much of a service is it? Then some offer the solution of: whatever money you were supposed to make that day give it to God as an offering. And although now the action can be placed in the category of a service, is that enough? I think mentality has alot to go with it too. I don't think people are working necessarily to serve and help thy neighbor, I think they are working, to keep from getting fired. Did God set up the Sabbath as a day to serve or volunteer on His day? What about the other aspects of the Sabbath? I thought the sabbath was a time to go to church, fellowship and reflect on God. I have aunt's and church members who work on Sabbath all the time, and my sister is med school, who is already experiencing the struggle. And I still don't know if giving God your paycheck for the day is right. But i do know that he bible says, If you love God, you'll keep his commandments and the 4th is very clear. And the friend I was having this conversation with said just imagine if all of the SDA's would stand up and say, keep the Sabbath holy the way we're supposed to. If the cafeteria on Andrew's campus would close down on Saturday, and not make the students work on the Sabbath. And if we would use fridays as the preparation day so we won't have to eat out on Sabbath. Imagine the impact if could have. We can't expect to be the example if we don't set the same rules for everyone. But its understandable that people don't want to lose their jobs, but God gave them that job, He can get them another...right? right!

But ya'll I really wrote about this to see what you guys think about it, because I was taught that the Sabbath is the most holy day that we must respect 100%. But things seems to be changing. I really want some feed back. I want to know what you think. Is working on the Sabbath excusable???

Where is he?

Sometimes I think I might be one of those women who will be single until I'm like 50. It's a rough time for single women, especially single black women. Believe me, im not really on the prowl for a man right now, but of course I have taking a look at the men in the area. It looks rather hopeless. I've never seen so many gold teeth in all of my life. I can't understand half of them when they speak, and they care more about pimpin' out their Caddy's and Caprices to bother putting on a clean shirt when they step outside of their doors. So, naturally I turn my sights on the men at my church. There are definetly a good grip of good looking men, but just as soon as I get my hopes up, something brings me right back down. Either a piece jewelry on his left hand, or pushing a baby stroller with his wife tagging close behind. But its always a let down when you see a tall, dark, and handsome brother, whose middle name has to be hershey... Carrying his bible, singing to all the songs. Then you see him outside the church shaking hands with his limp wrist and designer shades, while greeting all of his female friends with "Heeeeeyyyy Guurrrlll!" Oh yes Gay men are all up in the church. Ladies the stereotype is true. The downlow epidemic is a definite concern. And us ladies cannot even find refuge in the church, amongst the choir loft or praise team. Like I said earlier, its a rough time for us.


I can say this...I know it won't be easy since I finally realize the desires of my heart now. I'm not just looking for a random arms to hold me, or any sweet voice to soothe me. I won't settle for mediocrity, because I know God has a prince prepared to treat me like his princess. I really don't think I ask for much. Just a few credentials I look for.

1. First and foremost, I need a God fearing brother who Loves the Lord more than me. Involved in the church, and just a good SDA man.

*The numbers after 1 are very much interchangeable.

2. Sense of Humor is very important. I love to laugh and I want my man to be able to make me laugh. Also I want to have the type of relationship where we can poke fun at each other (in a joking manner) and just have fun.

3. Passionate...Just in general. About his family, friends, work, ambitions. I think a man who is passionate about what he does, and who he loves will be successful.

4. If we're married I like a man who knows his position in the family. He is a father figure, and just like in my family, he is the head of the household. BUT understand he doesn't abuse it.

5. Always wiling to give to others. Generosity is very much appealing.

6. Physically I'm not even trying to be picky, but I would like a man who can dress well. Not suits all day, but knows how to dress well for the occasion, and has pride in his appearance.

OK OK I've gone too far too soon. But I'm not worried. God will send Mr. Right, and not Mr. Right now. I will just keep praying for him to come when the time is right.

"Happiness is falling asleep next to you and waking up thinking I'm still in my dreams."

Today is the Day...

12:22am
I'm really emotional right now. I can feel every emotion welling in my body all at once. Today is the big day. My rebapism. I type these words through eyes filled with tears. I don't know what im feeling. Excitment, I'm anxious, and honestly a little nervous. But not the kind of nervous you might think. Like a bride the night before her wedding. She lays hoping nothing goes wrong, and then that one word runs through her head like its running through mine...Forever. To my human mind I cannot even comprehend the word. So I reduce it to simpler terminology. Forever meaning until I die. Baptism and a wedding are both sacred ceremonies connecting two people to one another. A relationship is formed and progresses until they are both ready to be bonded to one another for the rest of their lives. God has been waiting for me at the alter for 23 years. Such patience!Tomorrow I say "I do" to God. I'll Promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, through good times and bad. When I have friends and when I don't, when the storms of life rage, when I have a man and when im single (hallelujah!! :)), and when this world is ready to engulf me and devour my soul. I promise I will love, cherish, honor, fear, devote my life, and choose God before friends, family, and this world. It's a scary thought sometimes. We mess up all the time and our parents get angry, or yell. But most of all they feel dissapointed. I pray with all I have that I don't disappoint God. A lot of people use the fact that we are naturally sinful creatures to justify their sins. Like they can't do better, because they will always be destined to sin. But I know today, when I am immersed in that water, and my old sinful habits die, I will raise out of that water a clean and new person. Leaving behind the past that the Devil deceived me with, and made me believe it was the best I could do. The credit I merited him is no longer relevant. He's going to be so busy, but im not scared of him anymore. He can throw his hardest blow, but my God is just a prayer away. I'm truly happy now. Finally!

Heavenly Father thank you for this chance you've given me. I should be dead and gone, without a second thought from you Lord. But you saw it better to love me than leave me and I thank you for that. I take my vows with a seriousness that not many will understand. I know following you is not the popular thing to do in this world but this world is not my home. Just passing through until you come back for your children. Please protect me from Satan's snare, and keep his imps from touching me. Thank you again for what you've done for me, and what you will do in the future. Thank you for giving me my life back. Amen

Its never too late...

Nature's Symphony

A prose poem: Meaning no stanza's, verses or line breaks like in traditional poetry. Kind of more in paragraph form...

No electricity in my one bedroom apartment. My bed occupied only by my body and pregnant thoughts. Giving birth to ideas of serial killing murderers, chainsaw massacres and my possibly unlocked door. I'm alone, again. No cable to watch, no phone calls to distract me from my own mind. The only comfort I have is my own air escaping and returning, escaping and returning. I lie on my back and stare at the tiled Ceiling.



The evening night draws uncomfortably close as the sky begins to drip from its pinnacle. Darkness cloaks this side of the earth with an eerie ease. Listen to the eastern winds rustle the trees. Mmmm I smell rain. It trickles. Newborn drops stumble on to my window pane. Trying to find stability, but fail with each splash.



I listen to the dripping rhythm and try to mimic the beat on the window. At first sounds like a grandfather clock, malfunctioning. Tick Tock silence, tock tock tick silence, but wait... The barrage of annoying audio pollution transforms. The thunder crashes like the cymbals of an orchestra, and howling wind is reminiscent of a sweet piccolo. A loose shutter keeps the down beat on the side of the building. Listen. A sweet melody forms and I am lulled to sleep. Unaware that on nights like these, thoughts of fear are neglected, while I hear nature's symphony rehearse in my backyard.