I'm taking the final plunge...

For a while I have battled with my relationship with God. He and I have always had a weird up and down relationship, where I would be on fire for him on one weekend, and then fall right back into my usualy mess the next. (And when I say MESS i mean just that) my relationship with him was non existent and i was so caught up in the world and my friends that I forgot all about him. As some of you might know, I left Berrien Springs, MI where i was a student and soon to be graduate at Andrews university. I was almost at the finish line and just couldn't finish. I noticed a change in me, that i didn't like. I turned into a person i didn't want to be. and did not like. (And i feel i can be totally honest with you all because its a person i no longer am. I am a new creature in Christ and my past is just that...my past.) There would be sometimes where i would withhold my tithe and offering because i was using it to buy things like liquor for me and my friends, or going to parties where i knew i was going to end up groaped and man handled. i forgot that my Body is a temple and holy in the eyes of God. I didn't know what it was to pray, or have personal worship. I was NOT who my mother and father raised. And all of that just led to me messing up in school. Staying up late doing nothing, being completely unproductive. Something told me, i had to get out before i lost everything. Everyone said, why are you leaving? Why go? Your almost finished. But something deeply embedded in my heart said, You have to leave before you lose your soul. I was tired of crying, and saddness, and sick of being influenced by everyone else. I was weak and had trouble saying no, and that drained me of true love. Not love for a man, or a friend, But true love for myself.
I left and moved to Atlanta, where i am living with my mom and dad. I have been looking for a job and trying to apply to schools, but nothing is really happening in my favor. Living a life of monotony, just trying to get through the day without becoming unhinged. One sabbath I went to a revelation seminar at my church, and that was the beginning of a brand new life. Four days a week i sit and listen about the promises of God, and how much he loves us. And this time i knew it wasn't just an emotional high, but i was passed crying in my pew and feeling sorry for myself, i was learning! I reached a point of enlightenment that didn't make me feel sorry for myself, but comforted me, because i knew i still had a chance to live the life i was meant to. I reached the point where i was ready to give my life to God, and for real this time. Not for anyone else, but Him. So this past Saturday, the appeal was made, and i stood and walked to the front. I'm getting rebaptized this weekend on August 4, 2007. And im finally excited because i finally have my life back.
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17

"I wish that there were some wonderful place,
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all my mistakes and all my heartaches,
And all my poor selfish grief,
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door
and never put on again"

-Unknown-